Great question. Early in the process, I found myself grasping to explain the transition I was going through to those I was closest to. I noticed that I was desperate for them to understand why/how I was changing so that I could, in a sense, bring them along with me and feel less alone.

Over time, I noticed that I was grasping and trying to force others to understand the ways and depth in which I was changing. I realized it was another way my identity / old ego was trying to hold on and prevent the deeper, soul-level change from occurring.

So, I slowly let go of the desire to explain to others what was happening. I realized it wasn’t necessary to do so. It was happening. I was becoming someone else. Surrendering to that urge to explain myself to others made it lighter and easier to let go of the old identity and settle into the emergent process of what I was becoming.

What that did was provide great clarification for me about (1) the relationships that were attached to my old sense of self that I needed to let go of, (2) who I was aligning with as they related to me based on who I was becoming, i.e., making room for new, soulful connections to enter my life.

Sometimes, that meant separating myself from close friends of 15 years. It even meant distancing myself a bit from a family member or two. It was a true reconciliation of relationships.

Another dimension is that I noticed the development of a fiercely defensive energy for the person I was becoming. As my new identity, values, and preferences emerged, I became strongly defensive of them. It’s as if my authentic version was saying, “Yo, dude. You are not the character you used to play. This thing inside of you that’s emerging is the REAL you. And I won’t take shit from ANYBODY that is not supportive of the real version of you that’s coming out.”

I was much more opinionated, clear, and protective of who I was. It was a form of inner-knowing and self-assurance I lacked in the past. Consequently, that also acted as a clarifying agent in my relationships. Some people didn’t relate as much with the new version of me. That’s ok. So be it. Let them go. Some people gravitated strongly to this new, opinionated, staunchly self-protective version. Great! You’re welcome into my life!