This one has a couple of extra prompts hidden in it. While listening to music while making dinner the other night, I wrote down a couple of lines from songs. One was “how the damage gets done.” I think that one was from a Hozier song. And “a funny shade of blue.” I’m pretty sure that one came from Maggie Rogers. When I started writing my response today while on the stationary bike at the gym, this was the note already open on my phone, so I just started typing and incorporated those two lines into the poem as I went.

What I Learned While Sitting on the Bench Outside the Hospital

.

It wasn't when you said something hurtful

Everybody does that

.

I tried to do it too, but you always

return my words to me with a honed edge,

point first

.

It wasn't when you expected more

from everyone than you were willing to give

.

That was just Tuesday with you

.

What it was-

How the damage got done-

How things broke that can't be fixed-

.

Was when you called your discomfort pain

and called the pain of others

an inconvenience

to you

.

I sat on the bench, the phone

still warm in my hand,

my other fingers tracing

the shape of words carved in wood

.

Trying to make sense of what you said

about boundaries (mine) and needs (hers)

and failing

.

Looking up at the sky and wondering

at the funny shade of blue, the truth

of your words settled on me

like clouds come to earth

.

And I knew then the thing that mattered

The one thing that would change

everything else

.

You weren't coming

You were never coming