My mom would have been 64 today. It's easy to remember her age because she's 20 years and four months older than me. I'm not sure if they celebrate birthdays in Heaven, but I know she's perfect now every day with Jesus.

Even though my mom abandoned and neglected me on and off throughout my life because of her drug addiction, God used my imperfect mom and His perfect love to teach me how to truly forgive. That's different from saying my mom taught me how to forgive. Forgiveness is a supernatural gift that I don't want to minimize by outlining steps. The capacity to forgive comes from Jesus. It starts by recognizing how much we've sinned, but God loves us anyway. Only then can we understand the love that God has, even for the person who hurt us.

I used to hold on to a lot of resentment toward my mother before I matured in my faith in my 30s, and that spilled over into bitterness and holding grudges at even the slightest offenses. Today I'm not perfect but I've been made new by Jesus' blood and I let go of resentment quickly after an offense.

When I say that I'm a sinner, it's not coming from a place of worthlessness or low self esteem, which is a criticism I heard recently about Christianity from a religious leader who isn't Christian. It's liberating and sober thinking to understand that God is holy and perfect, and we are not. But when we put our faith in Jesus, we are righteous through his sacrifice and not our works, though we are set apart for good works which we do out of love.

God used my mom to teach me how to forgive and see how much God loved my mom in all of her brokenness. For this reason, I don't carry resentment for people today even if they hurt me. I'm grateful for my mom because through forgiving her, I shed layers of self righteousness and can now see her clearly for who she is today: a woman celebrating with her savior and made perfect through her faith in Jesus Christ.