I’ve been somewhat distant from the world at large over the past few weeks due to a bout of covid which was not terribly severe but was persistent. Energy, both mental and physical, has been recovering gradually.

Unfortunately, illnesses like the flu or covid create conditions that feel a lot like depression, but recovery requires allowing yourself rest, both physical and mental.

So for me, being sick is often accompanied by a fear that the depressive state will outlast the illness, because the most effective antidepressant in my treatment arsenal is activity.

It’s analogous to going through a temporary medical situation that would require me to go off of SSRI’s. The anxiety about potential future depression of course creates a positive feedback loop that basically becomes depression.

The way through this for me needs to be a gradual but deliberate return to activity. I focus on physical metrics that are easy to track in order to more objectively gauge what I’m ready for. It’s a tricky balancing act.

I’m curious as to whether others who have also experienced clinical depression have a similar relationship with physical illness.

On the positive side, I finished all 15 seasons of “Supernatural” which I’ve been working through over the last few years. I think they ended it beautifully and cleverly. I’ll definitely be writing about the Winchester brothers and their story.