Kate Manne’s “anti-natalism” piece is beautifully written and makes compelling arguments; she is factually right that birth and parenting are hard on women and our society makes it worse. At the same time, as a feminist who believes that a progressive pronatalism is possible, her take-away leaves me deeply conflicted. I see having babies as an act of resistance within a lonely, disconnected, increasingly transactional society, one that determines your worth by your earnings or your status or your appearance or your “likes.” We are suffering from a epidemic of meaningless, a collective lack of purpose, a deep nihilism. Having children can be a bulwark against that meaninglessness precisely because it is effortful and unrewarding and unprofitable to care for them; we do it out of love and because we are investing in something larger than ourselves, a sense of lineage and a connection to our history and our future. Having children is not the only way to find meaning. But providing care is a noble and magnificent act. (I am inspired by Elissa Strauss’s work on this topic). Yes, our society is rigged and the whole set-up is unfair to women, but to turn away from something that can be deeply rewarding and meaningful - a chance to lose your “light,” as Manne calls her daughter - seems to compound the loss.