This probably has a bit to do with my age and evolution of thought. A little over thirty years ago I was an expat in Saudi Arabia, with my family. We lived on a compound that among other things had a barber/beauty shop. The beautician was a Thai kathoy. He had to tone down the drag there since he didn't want to be thrown off a roof. There were quite a few Asian wives on the project who got together for mahjong. Tong joined in and wanted to be treated like the ladies. My wife and I politely did that though we didn't pretend that we thought he was actually a woman. He told me he was saving money for transition surgery. You may have noticed that I used he, rather than she. In those days I just considered him to be flaming gay, perhaps because I didn't see him in drag and transexual was not a part of the lexicon. On one of our vacations in Thailand we ran across him, also on vacation. He was not in drag accompanied by a super flamer, also not in drag. I mention that because kathoy has some ambiguity in that Tong presented as openly homosexual, even in Thailand where transvestite presentation was common.

All that wordiness points to my confusion which I do not think is a matter of bigotry. People are what they are, there's a place at the table for everyone and you'd be hard pressed to name a representative of a marginalized group that hasn't sat at mine. The word "trans." Trans-what, transexual, transvestite? Does it matter? In most aspects of life a person's gender or sex is irrelevant (cloths on, non-sexual, non-medical patient). I couldn't care less if a health care provider, technical support, cashier in a store, person in a recreational setting, is male, female or androgynous. "You must acknowledge my gender identity." OK, it's important to you, but it isn't to me and likely never will be. I'll be polite and treat you as you wish, which in many cases changes nothing since I'm a fan of gender equality and probably won't be treating you differently if you present as male or female. A bit like race. Some people don't like that, they want to be treated differently.

For a man in his 70s (me), much of the current focus on marginalized groups victim/oppressor is a bit disturbing. Not that the issues don't matter and need to be addressed, but the radical way people promote then seems counter productive. But then that is an issue for you too or we wouldn't be having this discussion.

The trans subject is blowing up thanks to Dave Chappelle's latest Netflix. I have a bit to say about that, but not in this comment which has grown too long.