A person can simultaneously hold two opposing views of something without cognitive dissonance, and that's a good thing because the opposing sides will usually contain some truth. I sometimes express a thought (opinion) that I have an opposing thought about without expressing it too. I ramble too much already without adding all that.

We all have our own lived experience and it's true that some won't be able to understand your views because their world is and has been a different one. When someone tells me about their lived experience, I try to use that to help understand their views. That doesn't necessarily cause me to agree with them, but it helps me to not demonize them. I'm known to tell my stories in hopes that it will have that affect upon others. It doesn't always work. Life as it is.

Diverting a bit, the accusation of "phobic" often is misplaced. I used the word "hoplophobia" in a conversation here on The Commentary. My apologies, I shouldn't have. We all have opinions, and they aren't necessarily fear based, but they could be. I can't read minds.

The economist and political commentator, Walter Williams, once said, "When I was looking for a Mrs. Williams, white women need not apply." A black man who had a preference for a black woman for a life partner. I don't see it as racist or phobic to express the fact that he had a race-based preference just because I didn't/don't.

Social activities are a different thing from dating, a thing that can lead to sexual activities. I have no problem with social engagement with trans people or flaming gay people, but if I was single and dating, I wouldn't choose to date either. Two people enjoying an activity together isn't a date by default. The friend zone. Does that make me transphobic? I don't think so.

I've been told to stay in my lane, along with some defamation which was more objectionable. As Steve says, it is worthwhile to listen to others, they might have something to say that could even change your mind if you are seeking truth, rather than just "winning" a debate. Ignoring something worthwhile because you don't like it isn't winning.