OBITUARY:

Suddenly, on January 6, 2025, the Right Honorable Justin P.J. Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada (2015-2025), of a gang rape and murder by approximately 100 members of the House of Commons. (Sources that have said he is alive and has resigned from office were misinformed by sources who had been paid off to keep it secret.)

All other sitting Members of the House have been detained by the Ottawa Police as suspects, with those of the Prime Minister’s own party having been chosen for interrogation most severely.