I am not a patient, but I’m around patients and their families daily. Here is a partial list of some of the people a seriously ill patient needs in their life. Maybe y’all can chime in with your ideas.

-the bulldog: someone who is not going to take No for an answer from the insurance people, schedulers, all the other players who put up red tape for the patient. They go in swinging and maybe it’s not always right but someone has to be the muscle.

-the gatekeeper: someone who tells cousin Ida that no, she cannot come and stay for a week, and no, she sure as hell can’t bring her two cats and parakeet, and no, the patient does not want to talk today, thank you and goodbye.

-the numbers person: especially in dementia or other long-term chronic conditions, the guy who reviews the bills for aides, diapers, medications, copays, assisted living places. The person who gets them paid and keeps an eye on the other stuff too, like the electric bills and water bills and landscaping bills for the house that the patient can’t even enjoy anymore because they’re in the damn hospital all the time.

-the errands person: someone has to take the patients wife, who can’t drive after her eye doctor appt, home. Someone has to pick up more Boost. The basement flooded and someone needs to come over with their wet vac. The patient can’t go get it. They can’t even get down the stairs some days.

-the casual hang person: someone who comes over just to shoot the shit and not get into everything because the patient needs a goddamn break.

-the picker upper: I mean literally, a strong neighbor who can pick the patient up off the floor when they fall and refuse to call 911.

Patients with this kind of support in place do better, hands down.

Who else?