This is the most fucking Reddit shit I’ve ever seen in my life: a call to replace The Great Gatsby with The Fellowship of the Ring in high school curriculum. I’m in a bait-taking mood, so I’m going to tackle this one line by line.

Every English teacher I've ever heard of reveres TGG like it's god's gift to literature

Do they? I think that a lot of people misunderstand that the reason The Great Gatsby is taught isn’t necessarily because your teacher just happened to love it so much, but because it’s a book with very obvious literary devices. It’s raining when Daisy and Gatsby get together and they’re uncomfortable, but they eventually lighten up and would you look at that, the sun comes out! Pathetic fallacy. Everyone attended Gatsby’s parties, but nobody attended his funeral. Situational irony. GOLD represents old money, YELLOW represents new money (yellow is like gold but it’s not shiny and it doesn’t denote value the same way!), and the GREEN light represents something Gatsby is ENVIOUS of, get it? Half the time Fitzgerald even stops to explain to you what these devices mean—that is part of why it’s such a good teaching tool.

…when it's a largely formulaic story…

Moreso than the fucking LORD OF THE RINGS????

…with one-sided characters…

The entire book is about how Jay Gatsby has more than one side to him. What he presents himself as, what he appears to be at first glance, is not at all what he actually is. Discovering who he actually is… is the crux of Nick’s adventure.

so-so writing

???????????????

If anything, Fitzgerald may be accused of over-doing it. This prose is gorgeous:

Most of the big shore places were closed now and there were hardly any lights except the shadowy, moving glow of a ferryboat across the Sound. And as the moon rose higher the inessential houses began to melt away until gradually I became aware of the old island here that flowered once for Dutch sailors’ eyes—a fresh, green breast of the new world. Its vanished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby’s house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder.

Okay moving on—

The Fellowship, on the other hand, has developed characters

I have a sneaking suspicion that this guy has only ever seen the movies. When Aragorn et al. discover Boromir at the end of the Fellowship movie, there’s a very powerful and moving death scene that culminates Boromir’s character arc as he finally accepts Aragorn as his kinsman and his king. In the book (beginning of Two Towers) that scene goes like this:

Aragorn knelt beside him. Boromir opened his eyes and strove to speak. At last slow words came. ‘I tried to take the Ring from Frodo,’ he said. ‘I am sorry. I have paid.’ His glance strayed to his fallen enemies; twenty at least lay there. ‘They have gone: the Halflings: the Orcs have taken them. I think they are not dead. Orcs bound them.’ He paused and his eyes closed wearily. After a moment he spoke again.

‘Farewell, Aragorn! Go to Minas Tirith and save my people! I have failed.’

‘No!’ said Aragorn, taking his hand and kissing his brow.

‘You have conquered. Few have gained such a victory. Be at peace! Minas Tirith shall not fall!’

Boromir smiled.

‘Which way did they go? Was Frodo there?’ said Aragorn.

But Boromir did not speak again.

‘Alas!’ said Aragorn. ‘Thus passes the heir of Denethor, Lord of the Tower of Guard! This is a bitter end”

But the thing is, the characters in The Lord of the Rings aren’t supposed to be all that complex, they’re supposed to be mythic. Maybe some will disagree with me, but while there are character developments and changes throughout the books I would say that these changes are not representative of a particularly deep psychological profile, which is fine because that’s not really the point.

a plot that defined a genre

Bizarre to call out one book for having a “formulaic” plot and then basically say another book is superior because it set a formula. Fantasy is also, with some exceptions, not really a literary genre, so I don’t know why Lord of the Rings setting that template would be important for an English teacher’s pedagogy. Should they be teaching Star Wars?

and the poetic writing of Tolkien

I will point you to the examples of the two writers’ work I’ve already pasted and just say it is fucking insane to suggest Tolkien is more poetic than Fitzgerald.

Do these nerds even really appreciate The Lord of the Rings for what it is? I feel like they don’t. I feel like it begins and ends at the Dungeons & Dragons side of things. Where does OP demonstrate any amount of respect for Tolkien’s ability to create an immensely fleshed-out world and its history and its languages? His captivating, mythic grandeur? What Tolkien has to say about power? Nature? Industrialization? War? God? It’s nowhere. To these people, Tolkien could be swapped out for any fantasy hack.