This is my dad and I.

We're on a Father's Day trip in the beautiful and weird city of Asheville, NC.

This photo is now a treasure to me.

Why?

• I rarely get quality time with him.

• We accepted a dare and did something shocking on this trip.

• Many truths I held for years were challenged or completely obliterated on this trip.

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As a child of the 80's, my dad with his Lionel Richie hair, was a hero to me.😎

Through my innocent and curious eyes he was the guy who:

• Always seemed to have the answers (even though I fiercely challenged them),

• Always knew how to balance hard work with his hobbies, and

• Always knew how to make our childhoods carefree and even magical!🌟

I had no sense of his worries, the fact that he was a young man only in his late 20s/early 30s, trying to keep together a marriage with two daughters.

Or that it must have been a struggle to have to grow up so fast as the oldest of 5 and to lose his own dad at the young age of 3.

None of this registered to me. And for that, I cannot thank him enough.🙏🏽

He made it a point to make our childhoods feel safe and happy for as long as possible.

I remember he'd always say, “enjoy being a kid for as long as you can - once you grow up, you'll wish you were still a kid!”

Damn, he was right! 🙄

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So what happened on this trip?

We accepted a dare from my partner and held a Boa constrictor! It literally wrapped itself around us! 🐍

All my life I’ve been TERRIBLY afraid of snakes and never even touched one. But apparently this was a lie I told myself. I held that Boa twice and even enjoyed it.😲

As we spent days eating and drinking our way through the culinary delights of Asheville my dad revealed things about himself that I never knew as a child. 🍻

Those revelations will stay private but let’s just say that he was far from the TV dad who knew all the answers like I’d imagined as a kid.😂

Yet another lie I believed as a child but not necessarily a bad one.

My childhood has tons of good memories and an overall feeling of safety for me. This is a form of wealth - emotional wealth.

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Here’s what I learned on this trip:

• I need to stop believing the lies I tell myself about me. So many fears are pure fiction.

• I need to get to know my parents again but this time through adult eyes.

• I need to find ways to make new memories with my family despite the geographical distance.

The Stoic in me knows that every time I see my parents could be the last.

Thank you

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