If you are anything like me, you’re having a difficult time processing the terror attacks on Israel and you are struggling to make sense of barbaric assaults on people innocently going about their lives. During times like this, I am often anxious to have a plan, to make meaning out of chaos. To do something.
But sometimes I think all we need to do is hold space for feelings. To notice and feel them. To endure the internal exercise of sitting with painful emotions.
You might ask me, How can we find hope when people are dying—and when bigotry and hatred are alive and well? My answer is: I don’t think we have a choice. Without hope, there is only darkness. Without hope, we cannot be healthy.
We are wired for survival. Which means that whenever we’re faced with a threat, cortisol and adrenaline hormones are released into our bloodstream and flood our organ systems. As a result, our muscles tense, our breathing becomes rapid and shallow, our heart rate increases, our stomach acid surges, and we enter a state of alertness and “hyper-vigilance.” These bodily changes allow us to run from danger—the proverbial tiger in the wild—but can also pose their own problems. When we’re repeatedly confronted with threats—when our adrenaline and cortisol levels remain at a constant high level—we can start to feel sick. We can feel wired and tired, over-stimulated and irritable, sleepless and anxious at the same time.
Right now in particular, most of us need more than one way to discharge adrenaline and turn off the cortisol spigot. Our mental and physical health hinge on our ability to recognize anxiety when it appears, to connect the dots between our mental and physical states, and to develop techniques to self-soothe when needed.
Here are some ideas:
Limit your media consumption. While it’s tempting to leave the TV news on as background noise and repeatedly check Twitter and Instagram, this over-stimulation only amps up our stress hormones. Set a timer. Take breaks. Take a social media hiatus.
Fact-check your worries. It’s important to distinguish between worries that are grounded in reality and worries that stem from false internal narratives. Anxiety, when allowed to roam freely through our brains, wastes precious mental and physical energy. Protect your body from being in a constant state of tension by countering your thoughts with facts.
Journal. Writing down our thoughts and fears is a healthy way to sort and process anxious thoughts. Seeing our worries on paper can give them less power. The simple act of dumping brain chatter onto paper also frees up brain space for calm, rational thinking.
Prioritize sleep. Sleep is essential for focus, attention, mood, stress management, and cognition. Aim for 7-8 hours. (I can hear you laughing.) Make a bedtime routine that promotes a nice, sleepy calm. Turn off Twitter and try a meditation app like “Calm,” “Insight Timer,” “Headspace,” or “10% Happier.”
Exercise. At the risk of beating a dead horse, exercise is one of the best ways to release stress and mitigate anxiety. It doesn’t have to be fancy or formal. Any sort of movement will work. You won’t regret even just getting up from your desk and stretching for 5 minutes.
Escape. Get lost in a good book, a TV show, a trashy magazine. Escapism is a wonderful way to “change the channel” in your brain. As long as it’s legal and doesn’t hurt anyone, go for it.
Ask for help. Reach out to a therapist, join a support group, engage in AA, talk to your doctor/priest/rabbi/mentor. If not now, when? You don’t have to be in a full-blown crisis to ask for added support. All too often I see people wait until they are desperate to get the help they need, when getting help early can make all the difference, mentally and physically.
Remember that hope is alive. Kindness is everywhere. Take my friends in Israel who are running from hospital to hospital to donate their blood. Take my grief counselor colleagues who are working overtime to help people manage the intense fear and vulnerability of the past week.
My guest on today's podcast, , is intimately familiar with finding light even in the most difficult times. Her story gives me hope. I hope it does the same for you.
Enjoy this episode of Beyond the Prescription:
