It’s the end of an era I’m not quite ready for.

Today we said goodbye to our baby cot.

The cot that held my two kids for years.

The cot I bought after my first was born because I couldn’t believe I could have a baby and didn’t want to have a cot to remind me if it never happened or baby didn’t make it (when you work in paediatrics for 20yr you can’t help but think of these things)

The cot I spent so many hours of my evening hunched over running my baby’s back

The cot my eldest first shouted ‘mama’ and named her favourite bedtime toy.

The cot that my littlest one loved to throw her toes over the bars as a game every morning when she woke up.

The cot has gone. And a part of me is grieving this ending in a way I knew would happen but it still hurts.

The season of babies is tough. It made me question everything about me and my capacity to be a mother. But it’s also beautiful, snuggly, and so full of love.

I adore seeing my kids grow and I love them every day a little bit more for everything they are becoming. But it’s so bitter sweet.

We talk about our kids firsts all the times but it’s the ‘lasts’ that always seem to show up so unexpectedly and that hold my attention for longer.

If you’re going through a changing phase with your children too sending love and care. Give your kids a squidge and hold (the good) baby memories close. Your babies are still in there. ❤️