On carrying a camera

My very first memory is holding a camera, photographing a Christmas tree, mum's leg in frame, because that's how small I was. I think it was a Canon PowerShot S50. I'm not sure. But I suppose that's where it all started.

Growing up in the digital age, I took photographs for granted. There was always a lens nearby — a phone, a relative's compact, someone's camera at a party — and I used them the way most people do: mindlessly. Pretty sky? Ten shots of the same thing. Selfie? Twenty slightly different angles. I wasn't really seeing. I was collecting. Afraid that I would miss the shot, forget the moment, and lose the memories.

Film changed that.

I bought my first point-and-shoot in 2020 — a Kodak M35, peak lockdown trend — and it genuinely stuck. Film slowed me down, mostly because each frame costs money now, but also because it took away something I didn't know I needed to lose: the need to be perfect. I can't see the picture right away, which means there's no perfect photo to chase. I hold the camera up and shoot what's in front of me. If the sun’s covered, the person moved, the bird flew, my eyes saw it first and that's enough. And if my camera is able to catch it too, even better.

I started experimenting from there. Different film stocks, different ISOs, pushing limits on a camera that couldn't always keep up. In 2023, I wanted more control, so I bought my first proper film camera — an Olympus OM-10, old and manual and exactly what I needed. I taught myself shutter speed, aperture, how light actually works. And then, being a chemist, I went a step further and learned to develop and scan my own film at home. Not because it was cheaper (it isn't, really), but because I wanted to understand the entire process, end to end.

I was overwhelmed to see my first successfully developed roll. Seeing the light that once touched a surface, captured by chemistry, sitting there in a tiny frame was surreal in a way I still can't fully explain. I don't think I fully understand it even now. I just know I love it.

Two weeks ago, I bought a Fujifilm XT5. My first serious digital camera. Not to replace film, but to experiment with a level of speed and versatility that my manual setup could not provide. The XT5 felt like the right bridge: it handles like a film camera, lets me play with the same variables I'd been learning for years, but gives me room to push further. So far so good.

I'm still learning. Probably always will be. But my photography is how I see the world. I might not be three feet tall anymore, but I promise to show the world what I see.

Please check out my work on my photography Instagram: instagram.com/ediiiphot…

Also my website (that I’m working on): edisoncloud.co.uk