Unpopular opinion: "No pressure!" is killing our social life.

When attendance is optional, it's easy to cancel. When it's easy to cancel, the repetition that builds consistency dies. When repetition dies, so can the friendship, sometimes before it even starts.

High-obligation gatherings—a standing running date, a four-person book club, garage band practice—bake in the consistency that all of us well-meaning adults have a hard time maintaining manually.

Commitment isn't the enemy of a good time; more often it’s a prerequisite.