In my experience, when my reaction is outsized, it usually means I’m responding from a strategy I learned earlier in life about how to cope, protect myself, or stay in control. For me, that meant learning early on that being prepared and in control mattered. In order for me to feel safe, and for everyone else to be okay, I worked most of my life to never mess up or get caught off guard in public.

Those strategies still live in my nervous system, and that dadgum thing is very good at scanning for threats.