For twenty years, readers have told me that Mating in Captivity has helped them feel less alone, that it gave them language for experiences they had not been able to name. That language, that recognition, to me, has always been the point. I never wanted to, nor could I really, offer clear answers. But I could help people feel seen. I’m not so dogmatic as to prescribe a single way of loving, but I did feel strongly about expanding our capacity to understand the many ways we do.