It’s crazy how importance works for our brains. Months ago I was enthusiastic about growing my work and reach here, today I hit 100 subscribers and I feel so grateful yet so joy-less, because I unknowingly hurt someone I actually love. So for now all of my brain’s attention is in feeling that pain.

Being the aware person I used to take pride in has vanished for sure. One of my mentors has said that perpetuated guilt is actually too much self importance. You feel guilty because you think you have the power to ruin or make someone’s life. In reality people can heal back, forgive and they have same divinity inside of them as you, so do not think of yourself so powerful that your actions and words are some way paramount and permanent.

I am so low that it feels like a subtle ego death, so instead of sulking and feeding my ego I thought I’ll allow myself this mistake, live in the stickiness of it of as long as it takes and then never repeat it.

sending so much gratitude to all those who feel this publication worth their time.

sending love to my grieving self

Sending a hug to the self who’s about to rise soon

and the biggest loves to the ones who go out of their way to show their love and care for me. I can promise I am worth all of it but maybe I can prove it only with time.