The Signal Chat Leak Slam

Oh, Hegseth and Vance, what a foolish crew, sharing secrets like kids with a paper or two.

“Freeloading Europe,” they say with a sneer, while leaking their plans without any fear.

“Let’s strike Yemen!” they say, like it’s just a game, but who needs security when you’ve got fame?

Texting in public, no cares to be had, who knew national secrets were so very bad?

Accidentally adding a journalist? Oh dear, what a brilliant move, now the world will hear!

You talk like it’s nothing, like it’s just a joke, but now your chat’s leaked, and your reputation’s broke.

You claim no harm, “It’s just routine, “ but the whole world’s now questioning what you mean.

Oh, Hegseth and Vance, so clever and sly, but you’ve made a mess that’s impossible to deny.

So here’s to the leakers, who’ve set the stage, for a national security drama, all the rage.

May your careers be as bright as your text-filled blunders, and may you learn that loose lips bring thunder!

GQ