I have a recurring daydream: I’m given press credentials and a front row seat at a trump presser. Each time he lies, defames US soldiers, demonizes immigrants, makes misogynistic comments about the VP or shits himself, I call him out on it. Loudly. So the dais microphone picks it up. I wind him up so hard that he busts all the blood vessels in his nose and cheeks. He fills his diaper and screams “FAKE NEWS” so vehemently that he shreds his vocal cords. I’m whisked off by a combination of campaign staff and second string secret service agents and am promptly fired by the New York Times (who only just now realized my credentials are in their name).

It’s a good daydream. A fun daydream. And if just ONE reporter had the balls to make it happen… I’d build a shrine in their honor.