Actually, sucking dick IS a viable 'option' for the male runaway - the world is full of men who will pay for a blowjob and it doesn't always matter if it's from a man as long as no one knows. IOW, male hustlers aren't only for gay men - but straight men on the 'down low' or who just don't care who sucks their dick.

I'm not arguing women who 'choose' sex work are trafficked or coerced - just that sometimes it's the only real option for them. I'd love to see an end to sex work, or perhaps legally permitted but highly regulated. With options for people to get training in other skills so they don't have to do this shit. Interestingly, Obama tried to do something like this - with no attention, AFAIK, to sex work - one of his first attempted actions in office was to pass something that would have made it easier for people in poverty circumstances to go to community college. Guess what collection of Congressfucks shot it down?

As for anal, I've never met a woman yet that said she likes it (not that I've taken a scientific poll!), well maybe one that I can think of, and she'd be too freaky even for Rick James, LOL. Most want nothing to do with it. According to the book on dating apps I read last year, a lot of the violence and freakiness young people are engaging in they get from watching porn as sex ed (because parents STILL aren't talking to their kids about this!) A guy the author was involved with argued that the women in the porn videos he watched *liked* rough, physically hurtful sex and the author argued it didn't. "Women WANT this!" he said. "They ask for it on dating apps!" And he proved it by scrolling through profiles in which the women said they wanted rough sex, they like being raped, etc. The author noted that they'll say what they think guys will hear to get them to like them (which I can totally buy as a woman, and as a human being who knows men do the same thing). Then she pulled up a porn video of a woman being choked and pointed out, "She's not enjoying it. Look at her face. Look at the *tears in her eyes*. She's not enjoying this!"

The research is still in the process of studying the influence of porn on other aspects of culture, but what I've been finding myself after getting interested in the porn influence last year is bolstered by the stories of women younger than I on Medium who told insane stories about dating life that I didn't experience in the pre-Internet days. They complained that porn was responsible for the rise in misogyny overall, and that too has been validated by my own research so far.

Sometimes we don't know why we like what we like. My ex last year liked a particular type of sex that I didn't find abhorrent or degrading, just not very interesting. But he loved it, and he had another related fetish, that I'm pretty sure came from porn. Let's remember what normalized oral sex for 'nice' couples: Deepthroat.

My 'freaky' friend was bisexual and admitted once she wasn't sure if she really was, or if she had been induced into it in college when she had college counselors and class speakers keep emphasizing over and over again, "It's okay if you're gay or bisexual! It's okay! It's okay! It's okay!" She said after awhile she sort of started thinking that it was maybe what she was *supposed* to be...she said this in what I consider to be a very candid, honest moment.

If you wrote a dating series about dumb shit women say and do, I agree, it would not go down well, but I would totally read it! I used to watch for articles like that on Medium, and I knew which male writers were non-misogynist. I wanted to know what women did and said that men didn't understand or like, and why. What mistakes might *we* be making? When I was in my forties and undergoing my Angry Drunken Bitch years there were dynamics going on at the time that I didn't know about, some that were women-blameworthy, some men-blameworthy, and others blameless - like finding out many years later how different men's and women's headspaces are in the late thirties (when my ex and I split up) and the forties, and how we don't come together again until the fifties (which I can see, but, unfortunately, men are still doing and saying some remarkably dumb shit, and I ding them for this because the truth isn't just Out There, it's right in front of their faces, but they never bother to Google anything.

They would never go into a business meeting, especially a competitive one, not having researched their opponents, or just be educated on what they'd need to know to accomplish their objectives, yet they bumble around on dating sites making the same mistakes with everyone and wondering why they get ignored so much (because you get tired of them expecting you to ask the same basic questions over and over because they're too lazy to fill out a profile). If women are doing as seriously dumb shit as men are doing - and I'm sympathetic to legitimate male grievance - please, let me know where I may learn more! Since I'm still persona non grata there, and I understand the new guy Tony thus far doesn't seem inclined to deal with the social justice extremists. I hope he can do better than Evvie did.

We'll never learn to get along until we understand each other. It'll take balls for men to write honestly and sympathetically to women about what they're doing wrong. It's what I do when I criticize feminism - I have to be willing to take some shit for what I write, and I think I've lost a few friends over my personal responsibilty, power feminist mindset. Just as you piss off victim antiracists who can't stand you suggesting that white people aren't devils and that antiracists are sometimes part of the problem.