The truth is Grant David Crawford, PhD and Barnes and Will G. and Chafic LaRochelle busy themselves with unimportant topics such as life, love, the universe, and kinetic legitimacy because they are too intimidated to ask themselves the real question. It’s the only one that matters, the one that has haunted our generation for all of our lives, the one that visits us in the bleak midwinter, the one that keeps us awake in the dark midnight of our souls. The one question open to ten thousand interpretations, of which there can only be one right answer. Yet they fail to find it, because they fail to face it.

And that question is: what, exactly, is the meaning of Mariah Carey?

I wrote this as a joke but I might actually use it as a writing prompt.