This is a love letter to everyone who’s been told to “tone it down” to be taken seriously.

Somewhere along the way, competence stopped being about doing good work and became about performing devotion. Late-night emails, green dots, calendar Tetris, meetings that could’ve been emails. ‘Busy’ turned into a costume.

This essay pulls that apart: why optics replaced outcomes, why we police people who have a life, and how to build trust loops so results, not theatrics, do the talking.

If you’ve ever swallowed a joke in a meeting, added a filler meeting to “look occupied,” or been side-eyed for having range… this one’s for you.