I am going to China in a few days and I need normie tourist advice. I am going with snooty mega nerd chinamaxxing type writers (e.g. Sam Kriss is one of them) who have been before and I have checked out of our group chat because they are either talking about industrial policy or literally speaking in Chinese. Degenerates, I know.

We are going to Chengdu, Siguniangshan, Chongqing, Wuhan/Three Gorges, Shenzhen, Guangzhou and Hong Kong. Can y’all give me dumped down normie tips? Like what fast food slaps? What drugstore cosmetics will give me baby bum skin? What cheap tat should I stock up on? Will I miss the TikTok famous monkey if the wordcels don’t let me pilgrimage to feed him? What should I pack/stock up from here (e.g. vapes?). Where are the best influencer spots to make Sam Kriss take 578 takes of identical photos of me? Should I wear my usual short skirts or stick to jeans?