I THINK I’VE HAD ENOUGH

I have a family member who drops her child off at my mum’s place (where I live) every now and then. For years the routine has been the same. She never leaves any food for the dog she also leaves behind so I have to feed both dogs.

Even when I started struggling financially, if I asked her for money for her dog she would get angry. In her mind, as in the minds of many people who have lived with mentally ill people-I believe she thought I was trying to con her and use her dog as an excuse to get money for heroin, molly and coke.

I’ve never taken those by the way.

She is older than me and since we are supposed to respect our elders-to a point I’ve now decided-I couldn’t tell her that her behavior was exploitative and out of line.

I completely get where she’s coming from. I’m the ‘idle’ ‘unemployed’ ‘mad’ person in the family therefore I’ve got nothing better to do than be of service to others and be grateful for the privilege.

And I am grateful. I like to help. I like to be of service. But yesterday, I realized that didn’t mean I had to be the biggest buffoon that ever lived.

This time, when I asked her for money again for feeding, dog sitting AND grooming her dog, she looked at me like I was a cockroach that had just crawled out of a manhole.

I walked away having made my decision. I love that dog but from now on, it will be dropped off at a shelter, I can stop being used for free and she can look at the workers when they present the bill like they’re cockroaches that just crawled out of a manhole too.