Still processing last week’s magic.

If you are interested in communing with plant spirits and are lucky enough to find another human to guide you, the first thing they are going to tell your to do is make a dream journey to find your teacher.

After a few false starts and with a lot of help from the ancestors I was at last able to establish a relationship with my inner teacher. This happened a few months ago so is not the magic I am referring to.

But even though she (my inner teacher) is reliably there for me, powerful, tolerant of my ignorance, even kind, and radiates love, I struggle to believe the things she tells me -- mostly in answer to my questions.

I am one of the lucky ones who found a human guide. I visited her (my human guide) last week. Among the many things we talked about, I confessed my doubt about some of what my inner teacher has been telling me.

I’ve been having a lot of physical issues lately, and sometimes I complain and ask for help from my inner teacher. She almost always responds with words to this effect: “You are being remade. It’s not always going to be comfortable!”

I’m 71 years old. Her response just sounds ominous. Isn’t it a little late to remake me -- for this life anyway? It doesn’t make sense to me.

But my guide got very excited when I told her about it. She said it was absolutely true -- that I’m not even the same person I was when she first met me. I’m completely different, I’m coming into my power, and a lot more about the depth of my relationship with the plants.

I wanted to argue with her but I didn’t. My eyes got wet, I looked at her face as she spoke but sometimes it was too radiant for me and I shifted my eyes away. I know I also slightly shook my head sometimes, when I just couldn’t take it all in.

The next morning I had a teaching dream which I am still working with.

It’s now a week later. I am still flummoxed.