New essay out today — and it starts with something uncomfortable.

You've done the work. You know the frameworks. You can name what's happening in your relationship in real time. And yet last week, or last night, you ended up in the same scene again.

This isn't about doing more work. It's about a specific gap that most relational frameworks don't address — the distance between understanding a pattern and actually seeing yourself inside it, in the moment, when it still matters.

If that gap sounds familiar, this one's for you.