Maybe Ned Ludd—the guy who smashed a weaving machine in early 19th-century England, warning about the dangers of progress—was right.

A Chinese startup, Kaiwa Technology, claims it’s building a “pregnancy humanoid robot” with an artificial womb, slated to debut around 2026 for under ¥100,000 (~$14k).

It sounds like an absurd joke—until you notice the vertiginous drop in global fertility, traceable to manmade causes, most of which are anything but accidental.

The fertilization happens first via IVF, and who knows—if thyroid functions keep collapsing, making sex between humans both undesirable and reproductively dysfunctional, we may soon witness bots humping in living rooms within a decade.

Will they make too many uuh-aah noises, drowning out our ability to scroll the newsfeed in peace?