‘wake up, babe — a new trade war with Canada just dropped.’ I’m sorry, a new what with who? ‘a trade war. with Canada.’ why the fuck would we want that? Canadians are the nicest people in the world, and Canada’s been our closest ally and trading partner since like forever. ‘because our president is a fucking idiot, babe. he’s a malignant toad who can’t imagine a world where people — or countries — have mutually-beneficial relationships. everything has to be winners and losers. so he ginned up some bullshit story about Canada being so unfair, because reasons, and smacked them with a fifty percent tariff.’ so how did Canada respond to that? ‘they pretty much told Donny to eat an entire bag of dicks.’