This discussion sounded a little like Plato’s cave in that it was the idea of the chair that became real - either that or Neo saying ‘there is no spoon’. Deeply confusing and confused. Like objective and subjective really are the central tenants of conversations about gender….really?

I liked your point about this all really being about personality. Heck I was a ‘tomboy’ climbing trees, wearing ripped blue jeans way before it was a thing, learning how to replace a Weber carburetor because that highly tuned piece of equipment made my car sing. Didn’t stop me from finding and loving my husband and thrilling to being a mom.

In all our beautiful complexity and difference, we are human.

People like your correspondent seem to want to control how we express our personalities in all their delightful variation. What a sterile and sad world to live in, filled with rigid labels.

Awesome Rowling quote too.