Feeling "stuck" - boy, how I can relate. I am opposite of procrastinating - I am what I've termed a "front-loader" versus a "back-loader" (i.e. procrastinator). I will do all the work that can possibly be done WAY ahead of schedule ("schedule" - whether real or imagined for me) to allow room for contingencies, or, most often, me feeling I am controlling the process on my terms. Then, as things often do, the situation goes sideways when others are running around with their hair on fire and I'm forced (in my eyes) to douse the flames and be forced into a way of working that I loathe. This lead to IMMENSE stress when I started working in the contracting field in the federal government - everyone seems to fly by the seat of their pants, lol... This led to GI issues, among many other stress-related woes. I got out of that particular role and into one much more agreeable to me, but even at 52 I'm still working on letting go on control, in all areas of my life. I was diagnosed years ago with clinical depression (a lot to that backstory), and felt I was really over it. But, I'm not (yet). I am, like most, a work in progress.

Have you read Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks (Time Management for Mortals)? I LOVE his work - and it's timely for this particular conversation. I've also just started Mindful Cognitive Behavior by Seth Gillihan (including the companion workbook) to really, REALLY, nip this behavior in the bud. I've been practicing mindfulness, meditation, all sorts of reading on said topics, Stoicism, etc. for years, but when cornered into a stressful situation, it all goes out the window.

Anywho, thank you for sharing your story Chris! Looking forward to the year ahead.