“Why did you put beer in my school bag?” My Elementary school age daughter asked when I picked her up from school yesterday.

My heart stopped, and I felt every parents eyes on me.

My daughter’s backpack went missing, so yesterday I gave her an old homemade baggy purse to take her lunch and stuff to school.

The day before I had used that same bag to take a couple of beers over to my in-laws for dinner because my father-in-law is having a dry month and has no beer in the house.

OH SHIT! Did I leave a beer in the bag and send her to school with it? I was waiting for an administrator to come stomping out.

Even though no one was looking at me because everyone was worried about the possible impending World War III, I was deeply embarrassed, and starting to convince myself that this was gonna end up on the local news. HORRIBLE FATHER SENDS KID TO SCHOOL WITH BEER: news at 11.

It turns out there was no beer in the bag. She was asking me why I used the same bag for beer the day before. Or she and her friends drank it.

So there you go, I’m not a monster. Probably.

We found her backpack. She had schnapps and a fake ID in it.