someone who grew up in a home full of conflict, angry blowups, extended absences of a parent, or use of the silent treatment may have learned that anger is toxic and may avoid conflict by being nice and pleasing others, including the therapist. Some might aspire to be the “perfect patient,” striving to be likeable, complimenting the analyst, putting them on a pedestal. Piling compliments on your analyst might feel polite, but it can be a red flag: Somewhere under all that sugar there’s probably a little vinegar.