2,998 words about why 3,000-word articles are impossible for the people reading them.

Inside: a note-taking fight with my wife that I don't remember (except through the scaffolding that held it). A bookmark folder with "Netscape" in the name. A dog licking himself at the worst possible moment. Sapiosexual coffee dates my wife encourages. Pre-loaded SMS templates I wrote on a Tuesday morning so I'd never have to explain myself from scratch again.

And a closing that turns your act of finishing the article into proof of your own capacity.

If you've ever spent twenty minutes explaining a need that someone else could state in ten seconds, this one's for you.