I have 17 unread text messages right now. Some are from people I love. Some are from weeks ago.

I hate paying the cognitive tax.

Every time I return to a text thread from three days ago, I have to reconstruct it from context. I can’t simply continue the conversation.

That means re-reading the thread, recovering my emotional state when it the thread was last active, modeling where the other person is now, rebuilding the relational context ("do I need to apologize for my late response”, “how weird was my last message", etc), and then formulating a response. That's an enormous cost paid before I can even engage.

For most people, working memory holds the thread. They pick up where they left off. My brain doesn't do that. Each open text is a frozen context I have to fully thaw and reanimate every single time. Multiply that by 17 threads, and you get the background hum of low-grade guilt whenever you see your phone.

Read the following from January if you want to learn more about this experience.

You can leave a comment, but I may need some time to respond. ;)