Oh I can completely see how it can come across like that and it does run parallel, a lot of what I go through with the brain changes and all the CPTSD runs parallel to a number of things...

But it's more like a bic lighter, you can't refill it and or if you run out of flint... You're just going through the motions of using the lighter but getting no fire or even a spark

I've been through too much, for too long, from all angles and it's more akin to how folks in Gaza have to be inorder to survive helping others or coping to be strong for their kids

Certain aspects of me are empty and just have nothing left to give

And no worries on how you come across, I feel safe with you and will ask questions vs emo rollercoaster assumptions and biting heads off lol