there's so much life outside of my phone, but i feel like it's my whole world sometimes, which feels both overwhelming and underwhelming all at once. doomscrolling has caused me to adopt opinions that are only others' instead of really taking the time to think about things.

i've been hiding behind the excuse of using it to cope with today's world, but i'm running away from the fact that it's costing my health, both mentally and physically. it feel so difficult to pry myself away from it, but then i think back to times i used to paint or write for hours on end, times when i was completely immersed in the act of creating, and i get sad - because why can't i do that anymore? why does it feel impossible?

i'm going to keep trying though, to be more present. i just have to keep reminding myself that i am my own person and that my life is not dictated nor limited by a 6 inch device.