I have played cello very badly since I was a teen, and last year for the first time played the double bass in an all-levels orchestra with my kids. Then the other day I found out about the octobass, to play which one must stand on a raised platform. With three strings only compressible with levers and frets, it is tuned two octaves below the cello’s C, its lowest note at 16hz; it’s like Helm’s Horn, but for metal strings. There are only a handful in existence. I dreamed that same night that I got to borrow one.

I don’t know why I’m saying all this to a vague virtual public. The magic of barely audible low frequencies perhaps makes one a little mad.

Please do not introduce yourself if you’re a Russian octavist. I am happily married.