Validity discourse is rampant in the queer community. It’s toxic and pointless, and only seems to escalate each year.

For example, “Lesbian Visibility Day” was this week. That’s the cherished holiday where we all fight about who counts as a lesbian. People post things like “bi lesbians are valid!” and “he/him lesbians are valid!” and “nonbinary lesbians are valid!” (etc… there are infinite variations*) – and then people bicker in the replies about whether they agree.

It’s an awful combination of …