My dad has spent the past couple years writing his autobiography/memoir, and sent me the current draft which goes up til I was born, and wow was that a wild one, reading it.

For one thing, I never realized he was so obsessed with women, and described his huge crushes on girls and attempts to get their attention or kisses at like age 5 and 6 and forever thereafter. And much of his memoir is filled with vivid memories of basically every girl he ever liked or crushed on…teachers, cousins, girls down the street, girls in class, girls on TV, etc, and all his attempts to get under their clothes. It surprised me, he never seemed much like that type to me.

But second, his childhood was in the 50s and 60s in Miami, and WOW do you get a real sense of what a different world it was. In a lot of senses so much more impoverished and dangerous, but also so unbelievably innocent and wholesome and idyllic. No air conditioning, for the most part. Tiny houses with lots of people in them, not much food, serious diseases, lots of smoking. Cooling off was running a hose into the wheelbarrow and letting the kids sit in it. Much more freedom for kids, who were off almost killing themselves with no supervision frequently.

His whole family spent a whole summer with all of them using shovels and pick-axes and DUG THEIR OWN POOL in the backyard (this resulted from grandpa saying “you want a pool? Start digging!” flippantly when the kids were complaining, and then they just actually did that).

But here's what is just unimaginable these days…and kind of funny to read from your own dad…but he never even had an orgasm or masturbated or really even knew what sex was, other than in the most vague terms, til he was 18 and in college and doing it with my mom!!! Which I believe is all true, bc he was quite clear about his obsessions with the topic, but he knew literally nothing. And was never alone for any self exploration…that's how it is when you live in a 900 square foot house with six people, and two other kids in your bedroom.

He used to ride his bike several miles away to the one store that had Playboys he could leaf through and see naked women, and that was the full extent of his sexual knowledge…he had to check an actual book out of the library in college to learn how sex actually worked, that's how little he knew, other than hearing boys telling him confusing things about putting it in a hole somewhere.

Anyway, I guess that's how he ended up becoming a father at age 19, when my older sister came on the scene.

Imagine what a different world that was though. Never even had an orgasm til he was with a woman and in college, and then finding out you're going to be a father a few months later. I guess probably that was closer to what it was like, for most of history.

He also talks about how the worst thing about having to join the military was getting his head shaved. Because at the time all the girls loved the Beatles and they were skinny guys with shaggy hair who were good at music, and he was a skinny guy with shaggy hair who was good at singing, so having to get his head shaved was basically the worst thing that ever happened to him lol. He thought no woman would look at him again.

My mom (who he's been divorced from for almost 40 years) read it too, and her memory of everything is extremely different and would not be so wholesome or idyllic. I'm trying to convince her to write a counter-memoir, and they can duel. 😂 Though I would probably be too scared to read hers, I might need therapy after.