Oh, man. I know how you feel. First, there was a long period of time between being divorced and getting engaged again: almost ten years. And I got sober in that time and started a new career. My daughter grew up. A lot of life and a lot of learning.

I wouldn't expect you to feel any different than you do now being *nearly* divorced. It makes sense.

I'll offer this: I don't know if it's a good idea! I have no idea, and I don't think any of us does. Because we can say "forever" but, like, what does that even mean? None of us knows how long we have here or what's going to happen. I just knew I fell in love and felt differently about this man than I had about anyone before. There was tons of time. Tons of growth. But the growth keeps coming, for both of us, and it always will. Life is still lifey. I'm just choosing to do it with him, one day at a time. That's what I know.

Leaving and starting over and going to the next new thing has always been easy for me. Commitment has been a challenging and deeper exploration. This applies to sobriety, friendships, work, and now, this. It feels like my work. Is it a good idea? Shit, I don't know, but it's turned up great, surprising things for me in other areas. There are many ways to create a beautiful life, I think.

I've heard as many terrible stories about love as I have wonderful ones. Both things always exist. Don't take how you feel now as proof of anything solid. The unfortunate and frustrating reality is everything changes, all the time. I'm learning to get more comfortable with that. Nothing is for sure.

I hope this helps?! XOXO