Sometimes people call me Ma or Sister on Facebook. It’s OK and I understand why, but to be honest, it feels a bit strange to a British person. Mum, Mam and Sis feel even stranger! Let me explain why.

I’m not telling you what to say or not say in your country.

I’m just telling you when we use or don’t use these words in Britain, so if you ever visit, you know what to be careful with. It’s similar in the USA.

Mother:

I can say “mother” when I’m talking about my mother, but when I talk to her, “Mother” is too formal or it sounds like I’m annoyed with her!

Mum, Mummy, Mam, Mammy, Ma:

This is only used to talk to or talk about your mother and nobody else (except perhaps your mother-in-law, which means your husband’s or wife’s mother). Mum and Mummy are the most common. Mam and Ma are used in some parts of the UK. (Mom and Mommy are American English.)

⚠️ Don’t confuse Mam with Ma’am. Mam = Mum but Ma’am = Madam.

Father:

As I said for Mother, I wouldn't say "Father" when I'm talking to my dad. You might say Father if you’re talking to a monk or a priest.

Dad, Daddy:

This is for your father (or maybe father-in-law) and nobody else.

Sister:

I think when English learners call me “sister” it’s a sign of respect in your culture. Am I right? In the UK, it’s informal and usually only used when talking to your actual sister, although we usually just use first names to talk to siblings.

There are one or two exceptions. You can say “sister” to a nun or to a nurse. And sometimes people use it to talk to a member of the same religion, race or organisation.

Sis:

I would only use this to talk to an actual sister! It’s very informal.

Brother:

You can use this to talk to your actual brother, although we would usually just use first names. It can also be used to talk to a member of the same religion, race or organisation.

Bro:

This can be used to talk to your brother but I think it’s actually used most often between male friends, not family. It’s very informal.

Aunty/Auntie, Uncle:

These are the only words I can think of that actually combine politeness and friendliness in English. Children use Aunty and Uncle + first name for their biological aunts and uncles but they might also use them as a way to talk to neighbours or adult friends of the family. A child might call me “Aunty Katie” because “Katie” seems too informal and “Miss Salter” is too formal.

***

👉 So if you’re talking to a teacher on social media, what should you call them? My advice is to avoid family words like the ones I’ve listed here.

Most online teachers from the UK are happy for students to use their first name, especially adult students. I’m happy for you to call me Katie.

And if that makes you uncomfortable, try “Teacher” or “Teacher Katie” for example.

Not Mum or Sis - we’re not related.

Not Ma’am or Madam - it’s too formal.

***

❓ Do you use family words to talk to people who are not actually family in your culture?