I’ve been reluctantly AWOL for a couple of days, and I’ll likely be gone for a few more. The real world has staged a hostile takeover in the form of my girlfriend’s birthday this Saturday. Currently, my life is less 'thoughtful satire' and more 'frantically trying to find the tequila shot glasses.'

​I’m deep in the trenches of party prep, but I’ll be back with photographic evidence once the hangover clears—and I’ll inevitably mine these shenanigans for some content once my head stops throbbing!

In the meantime, my dear Substack tribe, what makes a good party?