Make money doing the work you believe in
So she performs
the little sounds
the arched back
the performance of pleasure
so convincing
even she starts questioning
whether her own body
belongs to her anymore
… The way women
evacuate themselves
from their own body
just to survive being desired by
people who do not know how to hold
anything gently.
@yomamagraves Mama Graves
***********************
Only 18% of women can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Every other woman requires clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
60-80% of women admit to faking orgasms. Men were almost 5x more likely than women to reach their climax every time. Women were 10x more likely than men to say they only rarely reached their peak.
If there was an Emmy award for fake orgasms, I would have won it long ago. It’s not just the sounds and the arched back — calling on Jesus “Oh, Jesus, I’m cominggggg” helps too. Even better, yell out his or her name. Put on your O-face. Gyrating your hips up and down as the fake orgasm passes is appropriate.
I believe every woman has faked an orgasm. Maybe, like me, more faked orgasms than real.
It only took me hearing a few “Are you close yet?” in an irritated tone from sexual partners to convince me my orgasmic pleasures are too much, too arduous. How many of us have been asked that question in bed?
So we either accept this is part of the equation and take our pleasure into our own hands or we simply put ourselves away and let our desires become secondary in our own sex lives.
Today, and for the last 8 years, I have happily enjoyed celibacy. As a childhood victim of sexual abuse, I spent most of my adult life believing that my worthiness, my loveability, was tied to being chosen by someone else, to someone desiring me.
Now, I’m figuring out what choosing myself looks like, what casting off inauthentic people-pleasing feels like. The growing pains have been real. It’s been painful. Relationships I value have ended. I go weeks without being touched by a human besides myself. My life is quieter, my world less populated. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing way too little, not being human enough. But I am certain of one thing — I am far more fulfilled living this way than I was chasing some external validation of my own worth.
I will never fake an orgasm again.