The Wife Report, Part 1 !

Green flags the internet would call red flags

These are green flags in my marriage that the internet would probably call red flags. It started as a video, and enough of you asked for it written down that here we are.

1. He questions all of my parenting decisions. Gently, but yes. He holds me to a high standard and doesn’t just assume I’m right about our kids. It drives me a little nuts, and I’m also very glad he’s that invested.

2. He had a horrible Mother’s Day track record. He didn’t even get me a card on the first one. But we talked about it, he learned, and he changed. A teachable man is one of the best things you can have in a marriage.

3. He is not my best friend. He’s my husband. The internet is obsessed with “marry your best friend.” He’s a great friend, but mostly he’s my husband. It’s a different role with different needs, and I think that’s exactly why it works.

4. He takes up space in our relationship. The internet loves a yes man. I’m not married to one. My husband is an Aries with strong opinions and strong needs, and he does not just defer to me. A real dynamic between two opinionated people is not a red flag.

5. That man is going to tell me no. Same vein. And thank God.

6. We f***ing argue. We absolutely argue. I don’t think couples who don’t fight are thriving …I think they’re avoiding. We argue, but we get to the root of the thing, which I love.

7. We do not tell each other everything. Privacy is not the same as secrecy. I want us both to have privacy in our inner worlds. I don’t need to know everything that man is thinking, and he doesn’t need to know everything I’m thinking either. 8. We both have friends of the opposite sex. Not fuck buddies…big difference. But we did not cut off all of our opposite sex friends the moment we met. If you can’t trust your man to grab a coffee with a friend he’s had for ten years, I don’t know what to tell you. I also just get along with guys better, less drama. And I love when he gets hit on. If he went out in public and no one ever made a move, I’d worry I made a bad investment. Security is a green flag. Isolation is not.

9. We absolutely go to bed angry. Particularly me. My ass is going to bed. Sometimes I need to sleep on it. Beating an issue to death at 11 PM when I’m already exhausted doesn’t help, it makes it worse.

10. We have very different opinions on some very big subjects. Even religion. The good thing: we want to raise independent people, so we let our kids choose what they believe. We can believe different things without it causing problems. Most importantly, we’re both open-minded.

11. We do marriage counseling, and always have. We’ve done it our entire relationship. We’re deeply flawed humans and sometimes we need help communicating. Ten out of ten recommend.especially when you’re dealing with things like multiple pregnancies.