Your dialogue is great, and so are the inner monologues.

I stopped using Grammarly because of the article’s premise. It was okay for corporate-speak when I was being lazy about some report. But for fiction, it wanted to clean everything up—make it pristine. Even the dialogue. It neutered it.

Dialogue should sound like how people talk. Even the narrative around the dialogue should have an honest voice whether it’s in first person or third.