Having a daughter is changing me. It's making me angry about things I used to excuse away. These days, I sympathize with blue-haired feminists a little more. I don't hate the patriarchy only because I have a fantastic husband and have found the Church. But if all I knew was what had come before, I would hate the patriarchy and Christianity, too.

I used to think I only wanted boys, but having a girl has been good for me. It's making me question everything I've believed. It's making me more conservative and more liberal all at once. I've gotten stricter in ways I didn't imagine, but I've also started questioning the "superiority" of things like homeschooling and living rural.

I'm so thankful God decided to bless me with a little daughter. Already I can tell she will be as stubborn and curious about the world as I was. Some might think this is a curse, or my "karma". But this is what I want. I want to be tested and stretched thin. I don't want to turn into an overprotective mother who thinks she knows best. I want to be kept on my toes so that I never grow complacent or neglectful.

*Her knitting lesson was a bore and put her right to sleep