Really interesting piece. I do wonder if this need to feel validated by things like book deals, record deals, being published in certain places etc is a pre-internet generational thing.

ie unless you were truly happy to be DIY in the Xerox-ed fanzine/1980s sense, those outlets/avenues were what we'd been programmed to believe would lead to audiences and, eventually, creative fulfilment.

I had similar experiences around making records and having a book published. The lesson I took in the end was that I'd be far happier making stuff to please myself and really not worrying about the rest. (For example, my last record was entirely self produced and released, my last book was self-published, my podcast is completely independent, I run my own business, and I have a modest and engaged audience on here).

Lo-and-behold, as soon as I made that decision my work got better and found its audience. I'm now lucky enough to be able to do this for a modest living, which is all I ever wanted in the first place.

That isn't to say I'm immune to looking for outward validation, and of course social media is terrible for that.

But I think the older I get, the more I realise the 'point' of creativity is really just to please yourself, follow your own creative curiosity, and tell the world about it as you see fit.

If this leads to 'success', then great. But the sooner you can work out what that actually means to you, without worrying about those traditional markers of validation, the better you'll feel and the more you'll enjoy the whole thing.