I loved reading this conversation! This part from TaraElla really summed it up for me:

"I definitely agree that tying trans acceptance to willingness to embrace a certain definition of woman is unwise. I'm quite frustrated about that approach personally. Many people are willing to accept and accomodate trans people, and we should be focusing on that instead, rather than alienating people."

100%, 100%. Will need to look into her posts.

I have to think more about your idea that there are only a few areas where women and trans women's needs intersect. I feel like there are many, but then that is a feeling not a list, and it says something that I'm not able to instantly provide that list LOL. What does stand out to me is the threat of violence from men that both demographics face regularly. So maybe it is not many intersecting areas, but a small number of really big areas?