There is an unhealthy kind of tension that comes from believing everything depends on us. That if we don’t step in as often as we can, things will go spiral out of control or fall apart. But this is a self-imposed illusion. The truth is plain simple: We can’t control everything.

When we rush to fix, we oftentimes interrupt what needs time (and just enought action), not control. It needs anything but control. Some things need space to breathe, including our mind. Some situations are like that muddy water, we need to leave it alone so it clears out. Some people need to find their own way. Some moments are meant to pass, not micromanaged.

We must not mistake these for indifference, and it’s better to re-center and make peace with the anxiety that if we don’t control everything, things will fall apart. Often this is an irrational belief people adopt without any reasonable basis.

It’s important to know where our effort matters and where patience and presence is enough. If we are not aware of this difference, we may start a vicious circle- one where the more we try to control, the more we generate tension, the more we push some things away, and the more we accumulate stress.

Make no mistake of believing that by controlling everything you will finally get peace. Sometimes peace comes with accepting that you don’t have to control everything, and that’s okay.